Welcome to our new weekly feature blog full of good advice for new members! 

Israel's Dirty Microscopic Secret

I spend a lot of time on my blog trying to describe my day-to-day life in Israel, primarily as a means of demonstrating to those who live outside Israel that my life is really only slightly different than it was when I lived in Toronto.

Now that I have said that, I am going to talk about one very small -- minuscule actually -- thing that does make life very different from my North American existence. What, what, what is she talking about you may ask?

I am talking about head lice.

Before you all run for your chemical/poison shampoo and a super strength lice comb, let me tell you that living with lice was one of the most difficult adjustments I had to make to life in Israel. In Toronto if your child gets lice, you get a call from the school and that child is sent home ASAP until his or her head is so clean that you could eat off of it ... sort of.

Here, society has a very different view of lice. I have heard many Israelis say that if your child has lice then that child must be popular. In other words, if your head is constantly close to others' heads, then lice is the inevitable conclusion. And not a bad thing.

In the schools, it is simply a non-issue. My daughter once asked her teacher if she could move her seat because the girl sitting next to her was scratching her head (the international sign of lice). The teacher said no and told her to go sit down. End of story.

Needless to say, we North American parents are not so laid back about this lice business. We have been socialized to see lice as totally gross -- and I am not suggesting otherwise.

However, what has changed for us is that combing for lice has become a normal routine in our homes, similar to brushing one's teeth. It's part of the getting ready for bed procedures. And when we do find a little critter, all we think is: "Okay, change your pillow case and check more just in case." And that's about it.

The first time one of my kids got lice here, I called every parent in my child's class to inform them. Now I realize why my kids got lice a second time, and a third time and a fourth time, etc... Most of those parents took my call, said thanks for the information and then got off the phone and went back to what they were doing. They didn't even waste any energy laughing at my naiveté.

Of course there were a few parents who took me seriously. Yes, all of them North American immigrants like me who were socialized in an anti-lice environment.

The worst part of this itchy tale is that every once in a while guess who else gets lice? Moi. You can't spend your days battling an invisible enemy without the odd war wound. It never ceases to amaze me that I got through my entire childhood without even one bout of critterhead and here I am at almost 50, combing my own bloody head for lice.

And the microscopic battle rages on...

... pretty much as successfully as the macroscopic battle that defines life in Israel.

The case for tutors 

"Oh, your kids will be speaking hebrew by Chanuka."  Admit it, at least someone in your aliyah process said that to you. Right? Well, they may have said it, but before you start placing lofty expectations on your poor unsuspecting children, let's set the record straight: your kids might understand some Hebrew by Chanuka, but the chances that they will be chatting away in fluent Hebrew are somewhere between highly unlikely and completely out-of-the-question. Don't be disappointed. That's just the way it is. If you wanted fluent Hebrew speaking children by Chanuka, then aliyah to Lod would have been a better bet for you.  So, what to do to keep your kids from complete meltdown over their general lack of comprehension during the school day?  First of all, most of the schools in Ra'anana are more or less prepared to deal with olim just like you. In many schools, the administration places all the new olim with English/Hebrew speakers who can help them along. This has some pros and some cons; if you want to hear them all, give me a call. The schools also have ulpan programs – although in some cases you may have to ask specifically for them, while in other cases, they will be offered to you. Second, if there is one thing you should expect to spend money on this year, it is tutors. Unless your child is already a fluent Hebrew speaker or is going into at most gan chova (the final year of gan before elementary school), then chances are that you are going to need tutors. This rule applies to previously excellent students and not-so-excellent students equally. Try to imagine your life if all of a sudden you had to go back to school and learn all of your lessons in a language other than that spoken in your home. No matter what kind of student you were, you would be scared and overwhelmed. Well, so are your kids. And if you can do one thing for them this year … if they want tutors, find them tutors. That said, there are many kinds of tutors and many price points. At the high end there are places like ACE Learning Center which offers professional teachers who tutor students in language, subject matter and the ways of the Israeli school system. On the other end, there are senior high school students, sherut leumi girls and university students throughout the neighbourhood who may better fit your budget and your schedule, and still fulfill your children's tutoring needs. In the middle are several local professional tutors who you can find through the shul directory or by speaking to other members of the kehilla. Please keep in mind that this is strictly advice. People do have successful aliyot without tutors for their children. You have to decide what is best for your family and your aliyah. However, as a realistic benchmark, it is probably better to expect good Hebrew comprehension by Pesach and fair to good conversational Hebrew by the end of the school year. If, on the other hand, your child is a genius, that's great. He or she can take over the tutoring program for next year's olim!